Captive

at home with nothing to do
trapped in my head almost
lost in the lack of thought
interesting numbness as the meds kick in
I feel like I stood up and suceeded
and then fell back down again
I swallowed my fate and it did no good
ended up with charcoal and IV fluid
looking for a second chance and not a way out
this time I'm sticking to my promise
I'm devout
when I find the time to listen to whatever he has to say
I'm sure he'll tell me everything I need to hear
I just want to see my father again
I miss him and I'm sure he's worried to death
my arm has an invisible bruise where the IV went in
it hurts like a reminder of what I did
to look at me once won't tell you a thing
I'm a question mark
a mysterious being
and I wonder what purpose
I'll have in this life
God's plan is so confusing
it's hard to stay within the lines
because one day its simple
you blow through it with ease
but the other days are impossible
they'll bring you to your knees
and I'm wondering where I will be
just a week from now
my mind is scattered to the wind
I need to sit down and rewind