How Many Times

You can scream without talking
your leaden legs stomp in every room
you bang every door
brazenly waltzing in
as if everyone there were waiting for you
I left as soon as I appeared
crawled in and ran out of your life
like a flash of light in your eye
and you expected it as if you thought
if you saw it coming it wouldn't happen so sudden
but it was like a broken leg
numb for awhile then burning and aching
your heart's in ice while I
try to deal with my emotions
you and I standing face to face
pushing and pulling
expanding and contracting
heart beats racing to drum beats
you're more convincing when you're drunk
rolling around in your stupor
then when you argue your position
sweat at your brow
concentration in your eyes
and you always mean to say something else
something more witty
charming
yet it comes out wrong more bitter than you meant it
you're terribly afraid of being embarrassed
and when I ask to leave the party
you laugh
the last thing you want to do is admit defeat
stumbling back to your old position
I had to carry you home