A Fire Inside

What does it feel like?
It feels like larvae in my stomach
twisting and squirming around
there are tingles up and down my spine
goosebumps on my flesh
it feels like I'm waiting for something
some sign
when I know one isn't coming
that ah hah moment
when things snap into place
and it all makes sense
I don't want to try anymore.
I look at the veins in my arms
blue under my flesh
if I cut into them
they'd bleed so readily
but I don't want to die that way
I suppose I haven't given up yet
I'm still drowning in it
fighting the current of my emotions
I guess that's a good thing
people would miss me
where would I go?
Down to hell I suppose
I'd never see Andy again
and that's enough to keep me alive.
That feeling isn't going to go away--
the larvae I mean
they'll keep squirming around
till I completely lose my mind (if I haven't already)
I'm in this hole of depression
this pit of quicksand
and the more I fight it
the more I sink.
I want super human powers
I want to save the world
from what?
I have no idea.
There are others out there
who feel like me
I know they're there
drifting from day to day
I want to find them
have them on my side.
Maybe I can send them a message
one of these days they'll ask the right question
and I'll have the answer for them.
I suppose in a way
that's saving the world.