Miracles

do the blind not see
though music
do the deaf not hear
through color
jumping out of a photograph
we all collapse
and I
of course
the dead girl that I am
can hear the sounds
that echo from the hearts
of all the hurting
I am the vessel
the mirror
the child
the mother
I am you
you are me
and we are together
in perfect sync
in harmony
so sing

Life in a plastic bag

does it suffocate you?
the strain you feel
the flashing lights
the cameras
does it make you numb
collapsing like a paper cup
just broken and fucked up?
You're not crazy.
I'm not crazy.
God has hands on both our shoulders
and let me tell you
you go through hell before you get to heaven.

Face

I am the nameless face
the girl that's gone without a trace
you see me here and see me there
I assure you I am everywhere
in the pebbles in the snow
I go wherever you may go
I hold my head up strong and high
living this life yet living a lie
holding on to nothing yet
hope still grips at my sweater vest
telling me its not too late
but darling trust me
run away
I'm nothing but a bad luck dream
a curtain falls and its just me
I'm just as scared as you are you see
just as frightened and just as obscene
I don't have albums
I don't have fame
I just live here just the same
am I real?
or just a dream?
everything around me screams
the walls they shudder
twist and shout
get out! they say
get out!

Broken

My wings are broken
shorn and ripped
on this planet
I'm doomed to live
in all existance
in all pain
I greatly assure you
there is no gain
reaping is easy
breezy and fine
but one day its gonna be
your time not mine

Identity

I was raised with a certain thought
this is good and this is not
black and blue and green and red
all these colors in my head
everyone else never saw
the way the world worked
how I draw
my fingers spinning like a clock
time melts quickly
tick tock
tick tock
and when I lay my head to rest
is it just another test?
I ask myself this every day
and wonder if I could even say
the things that trouble this young mind
jaded thoughts I feel are fine
in a glass house
is where I live
I've lived there since I was a kid

Girl

I am a girl
tiny and small
obsolete?
no, not at all
I am strong
and I am wise
but all in all
I'm still in disguise

Why?

You keep calling me back
over and over
you need me so much
I'm your 4 leaf clover
I'm your good luck charm
your rabbit's foot
just let me be andy
I can't do this anymore

My Mom Is A Bitch

I hate her so
she opens her mouth
and vile spit comes out
she twists me open with her words
and makes me sick to my stomach
just the sound of her voice
and I'm reeling at the echo
I hate my mother
I hate her so
I wish that evil pile of shit would go

Money

is like a time bomb
like sand in an hourglass
money can turn your soul from white to black
from green to red
money is not the root of all evil
but it sure inspires it
money can make you lazy
what do you have to work for?
pride?
sensitive souls say money can help
the lack of it can surely be hell
but I have 1,000 dollars and shit
I just wanna give it all away
because I'm no happier than a millionaire
and no happier than a homeless man
I have no love
cept some empty dove
sitting on my window sill

Andrew (a letter)

Dear Andy,
It's been several years now and I still have that tattoo. I've been thinking of getting it removed but mostly that would be pointless. I still love you, but I'm not in love with you. That chance has come and gone and it would be really mute for me to still lead you on. I hope you enjoy being alive again, I bet it was a fun ride in heaven. Please enjoy all the sights and sounds and playing the new video games that I know you love to play. I would still like to be your friend and watch stupid horror movies with you. I love you.

I miss you.

Come back.

Love,
Lynette

Beginnings

Are much like the end
confusing
and as much as I'd like to admit
slavery is just as much in your mind
as it is a part of society
so one of these days
the anxiety is going to eat my brain up
and throw me to the wolves

Michael

Has been there for me
through thick
though thin
skating on the ice with me
I love him
though maybe not as much as say
a girl I know
but I'm getting over it
I get over everything
like hurdles
jump jump jump
swing along little girl
you're doing just fine
this game is so tiring
it makes me want to throw my hands up
you win God
you make the choice for me

fingers

fingers touch the pulse
between my legs
the fire I feel
that sets the world free
I think of you
but I still can't get there
I'm empty without you
can't you see?
Questions and answers
I still don't know
I want you every time you go
you smell so nice
and dance so well
but time goes on
and I'm in hell
I feel the empty
hands of time
quickly reeling
so divine
original thoughts
are original in nature
but I want your body
and I want your fame
snap snap snap
picture picture photograph
Us Magazine
that's us
that's me

Luna

I am the moon
I shine like mercury
moon beam
moon beam
on and on
like rain in the summer
like a corner on the sun
radio dribbling
out crappy love songs
I feel like a starving
black hole of a woman

What its like

what is it like to be dead?
it feels like nothing
you wake up and blam
it's morning
death comes as a dream
you get the ability
to be what you wanna be
I died a virgin
so I get what I want
whatever I need babe
I'm gonna haunt
and shine like a monkey
you can't shake off
come on baby
ain't death grand?
let's be monsters
let's hold hands.

Mandy

Mandy mandy
you are so dandy
the way you smile
is just like candy
and how I feel your
hands around me
oh how gorgeous
you can be.
Cesily Cesily
little blonde vixen
trick the boys with your
eyes of wisdom
tell them secrets
that are actually lies
make them love you
while you just despise.
Christina christina
what a shame
you act so innocent
and it's all a game.
Britney Britney
my little twin
we're in this together
we're in it to win.
Paris Paris
apple of my eye
slut for the vanguard
top of the prize.
Adam Adam
what a fool
smiles with an evil grin
looks like a fool
80's children
all of you
stupid followers
to a cult of cool
and listen to Stacie
cuz that girl knows
wisdom is wisdom
no matter where it grows

invisible girl

hello there
invisible girl
with your tan skin
and your tight thighs
I see your eyes
they're like wild skies
and your mouth just like
a lie
I stare at your mouth
for days and days
and your glasses
and I feel we're the same
you're so funny
how you play your games
invisible girl
how you lie and stay sane
invisible girl
I feel so damn alone
I know what you're doing
when you're not home
invisible girl
do you like what you see?
come dancing my darling
come dancing with me
we'll hold onto the garden
of eden and see
let's not bite the apple
let's just remain free
to stay on a crossroad
and live wild and free
I know what you're doing
you've got a hold on me
invisible girl
with your eyes so bright
take your invisible vision
and make me feel right
invisible girl
turn into a woman
grow up quick
no time for foolin'
I'll see you in the summer
invisible girl
and hold you forever
in this invisible world
where we'll hold hands in winter
and Spring and October
I'll use my super powers
and hold you so tightly
your lungs might burst
from the sound of a million
dollars slipping from your hands
three am and I feel you tugging
at my soul
invisible girl
you are my soul

Jane

Is not a unique name
I have a weird one
it rolls off the tongue
like a hand rolled cigarette
and tastes like champagne
in the mouth of an immigrant
three dollars in his hand
walking to olympia
fore score and 7 years ago

we all got problems
in a paper sack
tied up and simplified
for easy digestion
but this time I'm not going to swallow
the bitter pill
that you've given me
you're an asshole
and I want you to know

one day your mistakes will run up to you
and punch you in the face
scream in laughter and say
"Good job, kid"
you took heaven
and fucked it all up
I want you to know
I'm onto your game
and I'm not gonna fall for it

tremors

I can't stop shaking sometimes
when I get this feeling that I'm a broken mirror
and I can't stop cutting up the knife that hits my brain
I'm in love with a girl

past lives

haunt me like broken lines
split me in two like a grape vine
tell me I'm a $2 dollar bill
tell me to turn this car around
and go back to the end of the road
where I'm empty and useless
like 4 people standing at a crossroads
foaming at the mouth
cold fingers gripping at a metal pole
with black fingertips steadily aimed at my heart

That smell

I smell you and it's nice
you smell like gardenia
and god I love that smell
you make me so happy
I want you to know
your invisible window
to my soul
is like broken glass
in a candle lit
by the hands of time

Black spot

designer jeans
are you listening to me?
tell me how to fit in you
tell me how to fix my brain so I
collectively breathe out
carbon dioxide fumes
in the backseat of a car
breathing in oxygen
I love the way you frown
and the way you smile
with your eyes rolling back
leave me alone and keep your breath to yourself
I have super powers
blinking in my brain
1,000 tiny lights
I made room for you
in the Lynette show
where the heartbreak breaks out
like a zit on your face
an ugly face that doesn't speak
just cries black tears

Rays of light

Illuminate something I couldn't see before
music being the prism of the soul
and where I am
I can hold a question forever
like the light of a million suns
or a million moons.
I want you to take me to the top of the mountain
and just hold me down when I can't go any higher.
I've been sitting here asking myself the same question for years
wondering about God
thinking about you
whoever you are.
I think I love everything you don't mean
and everything you do
because you're an idiot
and I'm an idiot
and we're on this rollercoaster ride together
believe it or not
we're doing this right
and I just want you to know that when you finally come down
we're gonna look around and say
"We did this right."
I wish I could go to the other side of that stupid bridge with my heart and say
"Look what you've done big girl"
and point straight to you and let you have it.
You mean more than dollar signs
you mean a million thanks
and a million lies
and I can take all of them.
I'll treat you well
I have enough love to go around
because I'm not trying to play around
I'm trying to be your friend,
even if I can't love you enough
even if I don't have a penis I want you to know
I'm there for you and I'll be there for you
till your hands fall down in defeat
and all you're left with is me
a dumb 19 year old from texas
who cares more about you than you know
you silly fool.
Don't go fucking this up
and talking about science
because god knows science is a lie
made up by the devil
because he's the trickiest son of a bitch out there.
He'll tell you anything to get you running.

Boredom

is 10 like vitamin c tablets
shoved into your mouth
when you least expect it
it fills you up with this undeniable urge
to jump up and do shit you don't want to do
when its all been done before
and you just want to find the exit.
You want to punch yourself
with your empty promises
that only you make to yourself
when in reality its just you
sitting in the room alone
watching the sun set
while you bake cookies
because god knows you don't have anything better to do.
It's having a woman love you
when you don't know her name
and you don't know who she is
or what she does.
It's a triangle that spins on a 40 degree angle
and dictates your life
its five guns in your face
telling you to get moving
or you're going straight to hell.
Boredom is bitter and nasty
and I prefer it juiced and bottled
so I can use it when I want to.

This chick

I keep seeing this chick
brown hair
brown eyes
and her smile is so fucking broken
it's like a mosaic of pain
I can understand that
I feel it too
I wanna love this chick
she looks like britney
it's hilarious
and I like her for all the wrong reasons
but god damn girl
follow me around
I'll show you some things
you're gonna understand

bipolar victim

I'm a victim to the upswing
a victim to the down
take my hand little girl
and we'll go round and round
I feel it like a hurricane
tearing through my brain
if I had a choice I guess
I'd make it out okay
I've been listening forever
I've been hearing all the sounds
pain in the memories
making the rounds
all I want is a solution
all I want is to be found
buzzing bees around me
I just listen to the sound
and I want to love you B
but your soul is breaking me
we're on this ride together
you and me for all to see

I drove again today

I drive so aimlessly
I want to go somewhere yet
I feel like I'm always going back to where I started
living a lie in my bedroom
while my roommate is sleeping next door
seems like everyone is happy but me
everyone's having a cheery old valentines
fuck love
fuck it in the ass.

Trigger finger

Hand on the pulse
flutters like a butterfly
this is a stick up
fingers on the prenup
did we agree to something?
I think we did.
I want to love you
and hold you
but you're so far away
so god damn far away
It makes me want to cry
come to houston
come to see me

I exist

I am on this planet for a purpose
I live to keep you alive
I love you so much that it hurts me
so much sometimes I could cry
and I'm keeping it all together
so that neither of us die

Even

Even though it embarrasses me
this is my way
of being less sick
than I was the day before
even though it fills me with shame
this is my way
of being less ugly
than I was the day before
excuse me for being human
but I have no more excuses
for my behavior

The girl I'm in love with

Has blonde hair
she dyed it brown.
I'm not an idiot
she said with a frown.
The girl I'm in love with
smiles when she talks
with a twinkle in her eye
like a secret little spot
I'd like to dive in them
and swim around
like the atlantic ocean
she's meek and self preserving
tired and deserving
the girl I'm in love with
is running all the time
running from her love
running from time
she's perfect.
She's untouchable and fragile.

M.

I live in Texas

hey asshole
I know you
I know who you are
and when you realize
the good thing
you had you will cry
hey asshole
I hate you
I want you to die
hey asshole
I raped you
and it was just with my mind

Broken Isn't Broken

I'm fixing this
one day at a time
I'm fixing it
and I'll be fine
Bipolar
schitzo
borderline
psycho
but I'm fixing this
I'll be fine
I'm working it
one day at a time

Living

I live on earth
and dwell in the shadows
of everyone's mind
doing what I can
living like a rock
underfoot
I want to crawl into your headspace
and unfurl like a cat
and live in your eyes
I want to make you scream
I want to make you remember
all the things that happened to you
when you were little

Delusions

I have delusions of grandeur. When I say that I mean serious, serious delusions. My tv sometimes talks to me, and that freaks me out. I came on to the EMS driver who took me to the crazy hospital too. I'm insane and there's not much else I can do about it. I wanna kill myself almost every day, but ah... c'est la vie. What can one do with their misfortune cept take a shit on it and hope it'll turn into a rose?

My life sucks.
Blam.

Dreamer

paranoid.
delusional.
All things I feel I am
but never felt before
broken inside and empty
yet somehow alive
I want to be dead
but I want to live
and I want to learn
strange body
strange world
dead girl
dead girl
dead.

idiots

all of them
who stand in my way
backing against the wall
helping them stay
looking for noone
looking to stay
but helpless in every way

To the people from heroes

Keep this up
you're making me stronger
sylar can't win
there isn't just one empathic

I feel raped

I feel raped
shorn and scraped
utterly misshaped
and there's nothing I can say

Under your foot
under your knee
you and me
you and me
will be together
but I will lie
and baby baby I will die
one day

and what will you have to say?
Anything?
Anything?
Nothing.
I'm running on empty
I'm out of fucking fuel
you act so cruel
but I love you
though I don't know you

A liar

A liar interests me
like hands on a clock
a liar acts like a two minute watch

People

are sometimes wrong.
People are sometimes mean.
People are sometimes ugly.
People are people
I don't like them.

doomed alone

alone alone
is all I am
cursed to live in this stupid fucking house
till my bones rot
and my brain collapses
and my head explodes
from being in
this stupid fucking house.

I feel better

I do
I feel better without you
but I still feel this empty
hole in my head
I wish I could be dead again
so I could get out of this hell hole

I know about you

I know you're gay
don't you think that it's okay?
Jesus christ girl make up your mind
I can't keep hanging around like this all my life.

Am I meant for something?

Am I meant for something?
Or merely a tool.
put in the shed of my past
laying there waiting to die
I was spell cast.